4 Small Things That Dramatically Boost Your Charisma
Don’t you sometimes wish that people would show you the same love, attention, respect, and care that they shower charismatic people with? As a human being, you won’t be at fault for wanting these things. Charisma is a quality that most people would desire. Not only does it attract eyeballs, but it also makes things a lot easier in life. Also, knowing that you exude charisma must be a pleasant feeling! So, how do you do it? How do you develop something that doesn’t exist naturally in you?
Well, the answer is that you do the same thing that you do to learn a new skill. You learn the techniques, you practice, and over time, you make it a part of who you are. As far as charisma is concerned, there are so many behavioral changes you could make to develop this quality in you. These changes might seem trivial, but you would be surprised at the response they can generate. To that end, let’s take a look at some small things that can boost your charisma.
1 | Make People Laugh
Laughing is one of the most pleasurable activities that we indulge in. It makes you feel good from the inside and you forget all about your troubles for a while. Maybe that’s why people say that laughter is the best medicine. So, it doesn’t surprise me that people who make others laugh are absolutely adored - whether it is professional comedians or the average Joe. You could do the same to instantly become more likable.
Even researchers say that if you make people laugh, they will like you. This happens due to a variety of reasons. First, humor makes people feel better. Not only in the moment but also about themselves. It helps them loosen up. Second, humor makes you appear more intelligent. Often, humor comes from observing things that others have missed and this makes others notice how smart you are. Third, humor can break the tension in a group setting and can get people to become more sociable. Naturally, you come off as more charming.
So, in order to become more charismatic, you could learn the art of making others laugh. I will admit, this is not an easy task even though it might appear that way. Making others laugh is not only about telling jokes. It’s an art and takes time to develop. Also, if your humor ends up offending someone, you will have the opposite effect. So, make sure you tread lightly and do it the right way. In any case, remember to just be yourself and don’t try too hard!
2 | Show A Little Imperfection
Now, this suggestion might sound a little odd and counter-productive. But trust me, it is a great way to look more charming. I mean, think about it. If you come across someone who appears to be perfect in all regards, you might not actually like them. For some reason, even though we humans chase perfection, we find it… inhuman. After all, we are all very aware that every person has flaws. And it is these flaws that make us humans. So, you can’t really humanize someone who appears to be 100% perfect. Makes sense?
If not, consider an experiment conducted by psychologist Richard Wiseman. He brought in two actresses to sell a blender at a mall. The first actress was presented as being perfect. She had a flawless presentation and made an impeccable smoothie using the blender. The second actress also had a flawless presentation but she deliberately “forgot” to tighten the lid of the blender. So, when she switched it on, she spilled the smoothie all over her.
Now, you might think that the potential customers liked the first actress better. But that’s not what happened. They actually rated the second actress as more likable. Care to guess why? Well, due to her apparent mistake, she came off as more “human”. People could relate to her vulnerability and so, they liked her more. You could do the same the next time you are talking to someone or are in a group. Instead of trying to talk about all your capabilities, why not mention a few weaknesses also? In fact, you could pair this with the first point and try some self-deprecating humor!
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3 | Pay Attention Like Your Life Depends On It
I don’t think this requires much explanation. The heading says it all and I’m sure you must have noticed it in your life as well. We naturally tend to like those people more who pay attention to what we are saying and how we are feeling. Undivided attention tells us that the other person cares about us and naturally, we want to reciprocate. Therefore, you should get into the habit of being attentive.
There are a few tips you could follow in this regard. For one, you should avoid looking at your phone when talking to someone. Research says that even a tiny glance at your smartphone can be hazardous to your relationships. And when you are meeting someone new, this can make them feel like you don’t care. This single thing can kill your charisma on the spot, even if you do everything else correctly.
Another thing you could do is listen to the other person without interrupting. Let them complete and then speak. A good rule of thumb is to wait 2 seconds before responding. Your focus should be on listening and comprehension. That way, you will also be able to ask relevant questions that will further make them feel like you genuinely care and are interested.
4 | Do Not Speak Ill of Others
This is not exactly a habit per se, but something you should keep in mind regardless. It is common for us to talk about or reference other people when we are having a conversation with someone. The next time you do this, make sure that you do not speak ill of others. Even if what you are saying is true, this might make you come off as a negative person. This happens because of a phenomenon called Spontaneous Trait Transference.
What happens is, when you describe other people’s traits to someone, the listener subconsciously associates those traits with you too. So, when you are talking with Mr. B, and if you say that Mr. C is a lazy person and an alcoholic, then Mr. B will associate “laziness” and “alcoholic” with you also. They might not even be aware that they are doing so. And yet, it will have an influence on the way they perceive you. Naturally, negative traits will make you much less charismatic. People will be drawn away from you.
So, what you can do is, speak positive things about other people. Everyone has positive traits whether you like them or not. Therefore, even if you are referencing someone you despise, you should focus on their positive attributes. This will make the listener assign those traits to you and thus, you will come off as more charismatic. Also, exuding positivity is always a great thing. It is one of the most apparent qualities that a charismatic person has.
To Wrap Up
Being charismatic is something that many people aspire to. Thankfully, just like any other skill, it can be developed over time. Doing so will not only improve your relationships but will also make you a better person. It will also open up many doors for you in your life. So, even if you don’t want to do it for others, you can do it to grow as a human being. There are some great science-backed ways you can hone this quality. You could practice them alone or take help from your family and friends.
Remember, being charismatic requires you to understand psychology to a certain extent. You need to understand how we humans think, feel, and behave in different situations, either consciously or unconsciously. Doing so will give you insights into how you can modify your behavior to become more likable. This might sound hard, but it is quite interesting and easy to do. For starters, you can use the above four habits to start garnering charisma. With time, you could come up with your own ways that you’ll discover with experience.
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